


and eat it too

by thewalrus_said



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Cockwarming, M/M, Sashimi, Viktor's Cock and Fish Palace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-04 05:14:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20465585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewalrus_said/pseuds/thewalrus_said
Summary: Viktor teaches Yuuri about an...interestingRussian idiom. It gives Yuuri ideas during his next anxiety attack.





	and eat it too

**Author's Note:**

> I have no words. This is Rae's fault. She knows why.

“But I don’t _ want _ to go for a run,” Yuuri whined, shoving his face back into the pillow. “I want to sleep.”

Viktor sighed and put his hands on his hips. “If I let you sleep today, you have to go for a run tomorrow.” Tomorrow was their shared rest day, and they had plans to spend it in blanket burritos on the couch watching Russian soap operas. Firm, unbreakable plans.

“No.” Yuuri pulled the blankets up over his head. “I want to not go for a run today, and I want to not go for a run tomorrow either.”

“You have to do one or the other,” Viktor said. “You can’t eat fish and sit on a dick.”

The blankets came down off Yuuri’s face. “What the hell did you just say.”

“What?” Viktor asked. “You can’t eat fish and sit on a dick?”

“Yes,” Yuuri said. “That. What the fuck, Viktor.”

“It’s a saying!” Viktor said, indignant. “A classic among Russians. It means, you know, you can’t have it both ways, you have to choose one or the other.”

“That’s not a thing.” Yuuri reached for his phone on the nightstand. “There’s no way that’s a thing.”

“It is!” Viktor insisted. “It’s the equivalent of that English saying about the cake.”

“Okay, but ‘you can’t have your cake and eat it too’ actually makes _ sense,_” Yuuri muttered, tapping frantically at his phone.

“No, it doesn’t,” Viktor said. “You can have the cake and then eat it later, and ‘having’ something means eating it anyway. It should be ‘you can’t eat your cake and have it too,’ _that _ would make sense.”

“Huh,” Yuuri said, staring at his phone. “According to Wikipedia, it _ is _a thing. Russians are weird.”

“We’re not weird,” Viktor said. “When would you ever eat fish and sit on a dick at the same time?”

“Okay, maybe, but you _ could. _ Sitting on a dick does not remove the ability to eat fish.”

Viktor threw his hands up. “I’m not arguing about this with you,” he said. “Get up and let’s go for a run.”

Yuuri scowled but threw back the covers. As he passed Viktor on his way into the bathroom, Viktor heard him grumbling, “Could _ so _ eat fish on a dick, it’s totally possible.”

\----

_ Three weeks later _

Yuuri’s real tell, Viktor knew by now, was the fidgeting. Lack of eye contact could mean anything, but if Yuuri’s hands were nonstop twitching in his lap, or if he fiddled constantly with the hem of his sweater, he was in the thick of an anxiety attack.

Yuuri’s fingertips swept over the rim of his water glass, tipping it back and forth on the coffee table.

Viktor had been trying to look reassuring and inviting, but that never worked when Yuuri got like this. He would have to take a direct approach. “Yuuri,” he said, and Yuuri snatched his hand from the glass like it was on fire. “Do you need to talk about anything?” He sidled a little closer on the couch, opening his arm in case Yuuri wanted to slide underneath. “Something on your mind?”

Yuuri looked for a second like he wanted to deny it, but then he sighed and shook his head. “Nothing in particular, that’s the frustrating thing,” he said. “Just, one of those days.” He bypassed Viktor’s arm entirely and climbed fully into his lap. Viktor wrapped his arms around him.

“Is there anything I can do?” Viktor asked, fully expecting a negative answer. There was never anything he could do, other than hold Yuuri close and tell him he loved him as often as he possibly could.

This time, though, Yuuri made a noise in the back of his throat, and then immediately looked embarrassed. “There _ is, _” Viktor said. “Tell me what it is?”

“No.”

Viktor frowned. “Yuuri. If there’s something I can do to help you, I want to be able to do it. Please tell me.”

Yuuri shook his head and ducked more firmly under Viktor’s chin. “It’s embarrassing.” His fingers clenched in Viktor’s shirt.

Viktor pressed a kiss into the tuft of hair tickling his mouth. “I promise I won’t make fun of you, _ solnyshko._” He would be offended that Yuuri thought he would, but he knew by now that Yuuri’s mind wasn’t working rationally on days like today. “What is it?”

Yuuri groaned, long and defeated. He shoved his face into Viktor’s neck and mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like, “I want to eat fish and sit on your dick.”

Viktor didn’t freeze. He _ wanted _ to freeze, but if he did Yuuri would snap shut like an oyster and the day would just get worse. Instead he pried Yuuri’s face a little way from his skin and said, “Could you repeat that for me, _ zolotse?_”

Yuuri’s cheeks were on fire, and he was looking determinedly at Viktor’s nose instead of his eyes. “I want to eat fish and sit on your dick.”

Okay. So Viktor’s ears had been working. This was... unexpected, but Viktor could work with it. “Like that idiom I told you about?”

Yuuri nodded, now staring at Viktor’s chin. “It just... It sounds soothing. You holding me from the inside and the outside, and feeding me, and it just sounds so _ nice. _ It’s embarrassing, though, we don’t have to do it. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No no,” Viktor said automatically. “We can do it.”

Yuuri’s eyes flicked up to meet his. _ Finally. _ “Really?”

Viktor held his gaze. “You think it would help?” Yuuri’s cheeks flushed impossibly brighter and he nodded. “Then we’ll give it a try.” Yuuri kissed him, surging forward to slot their mouths together desperately. Viktor could feel him almost quivering with nervous energy. “I’ll have to leave to get the fish,” Viktor said, once Yuuri’s mouth released his.

Yuuri nodded again. “I’ll be okay. I’ll use the time to, uh. _ Prepare, _ I guess.”

“That sounds like a good plan.” With a sigh, Yuuri clambered off his lap and Viktor stood up. “I’ll be quick.” Yuuri nodded again, and with another kiss, Viktor went to slip on his shoes and a coat.

There was a sushi restaurant a fifteen-minute walk away. Viktor made it in nine, dodging pedestrians and dogs on the sidewalk while he perused the menu on his phone. Yuuri had said fish specifically, so Viktor asked for two orders of assorted sashimi and a California roll. The seconds dragged by until the server came out with a plastic bag, which Viktor all but snatched out of his hand on his way out the door.

Yuuri was still in the bathroom when Viktor got back, so Viktor dumped the bag on the kitchen counter and went into the bedroom. Tense, anxiety-ridden Yuuri was hardly an erotic thought, but erectile tissue was erectile tissue, and would eventually react to a determined, lubed hand stroking over it. Once he was reasonably hard, Viktor went back out into the kitchen, washed his hands, and set about putting the food onto a plate.

Yuuri wandered out just as Viktor was finishing up, wearing sweatpants instead of the jeans from before. His face was even tenser than Viktor remembered it being when he left. “Ready?” Viktor asked. Yuuri’s hands twisted ferociously in the hem of his shirt, but he nodded. “I think the couch is our best bet,” Viktor said. “Do you want us all the way naked?”

“Could we... I mean, our pants have to come off, but could we keep our shirts on?” Yuuri asked, looking at the ground.

“Of course.” Viktor carried the plate over and set it on the far right couch cushion. He shucked his pants and underwear, gave his erection a few more strokes with his left hand, and held out his right. “Can I have your sweatpants?”

Yuuri padded over and slipped them off, handing them to Viktor. Viktor spread them out on the couch and settled his bare ass down on top of them. He held out a hand to Yuuri. “I’m ready whenever you are, _ zolotse._”

Yuuri stood frozen for a few seconds, then seemed to make up his mind. Careful of the plate, he knelt over Viktor’s lap and grasped hold of his cock, lining himself up and starting to sink down.

Instinct threatened to take over and Viktor had to fight the urge to thrust, even as mentally unaroused as he was. He managed to hold himself still with an effort, putting his hands on Yuuri’s shoulders as Yuuri settled in his lap. “Okay?” he asked, once Yuuri’s plush rear was against his thighs.

“I think so.” Yuuri adjusted slightly, taking Viktor in a little deeper. His eyes fluttered shut and he rested his forehead against Viktor’s. “Yeah, I’m good.”

“Ready for the food?” Yuuri nodded. Viktor tugged the plate a little closer and picked up a slippery piece of tuna, moving to hold it against Yuuri’s lips. Yuuri’s mouth opened and moved forward to encompass it, taking a bit of Viktor’s fingers in with it. Viktor wrapped his other arm firmly around Yuuri’s back as Yuuri chewed. “How’s it taste?”

“Delicious,” Yuuri said once he’d swallowed. His eyes were still closed. “Could I have another?”

“Of course.” The next bite was salmon, as best Viktor could tell, and Yuuri gave a little moan as it went into his mouth. Under Viktor’s hand, his back was relaxing. Viktor ran a comforting hand up and down his spine and it untensed a little more.

Piece by piece, Viktor fed Yuuri the lion’s share of the two orders of sashimi. Yuuri kept his eyes shut for the most part, only squinting them open once to lay a kiss on Viktor’s lips. As Viktor reached out for the next piece, Yuuri gave a pleased little wriggle in his lap. Viktor’s breath caught. “I think I’m full,” Yuuri said. By now his breathing was slow and even, and he tucked his head down to rest on Viktor’s shoulder. “Thank you, Viktor.”

“Of course, _ rybka._” Viktor licked his fingers clean and wrapped both arms around Yuuri’s back and shoulders. Yuuri gave a little sigh and his head drooped down even heavier under Viktor’s chin. Viktor’s heart clenched.

A few minutes passed like that, Viktor softening in Yuuri’s ass and holding him tight. When Yuuri gave a soft little snore, Viktor deemed it safe to loosen one arm, and picked up a piece of the California roll for himself. As it passed his lips, his stomach gave a growl. He looked at the clock on the wall and shrugged. Sushi as a late lunch wasn’t necessarily part of his diet plan, but tending to his fiancé definitely was. What Yakov didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

He gave a mental shudder. _ Note to self: Never think of Yakov while balls-deep in Yuuri. _ Viktor helped himself to the rest of the sushi, popping the last bite in his mouth when Yuuri started to stir. “I actually fell asleep,” Yuuri murmured, leaning back to look at Viktor. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Viktor said. “You needed it. Feeling better?”

“Much.” He looked it, too. His shoulders were looser and his eyes less strained as he gave Viktor a tired smile. “I can’t believe that actually worked. Thank you.”

“It was my pleasure, _ lyubov moya._” Viktor leaned forward and pressed his lips to Yuuri’s; Yuuri’s hands came up to clutch at his face and he returned the kiss with interest. Inside Yuuri, Viktor’s cock gave a hopeful little twitch. Viktor mentally told it to simmer down. This was about Yuuri. Any pleasure Viktor got from being useful was entirely incidental. “Ready to get up?”

Yuuri looked at his nose again. “Actually, could I... would you mind if I stayed a little longer?” Viktor chucked him under the chin and he chuckled, looking up to meet Viktor’s gaze. “I... it’s nice here.”

Viktor kissed him on the forehead. “Stay as long as you like. Viktor’s Cock and Fish Palace is open for business.”

Yuuri swatted him on the shoulder with a scowl, but he did kiss Viktor’s chin and lean back into his shoulder, so Viktor counted it as a win anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me on [Tumblr](http://thewalrus-said.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](http://twitter.com/thewalrus_said).


End file.
